I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
