I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
