u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
