if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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