That's intense
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
