all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
