Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We had to coat check the pizza.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
