A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
