Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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