You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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