I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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