We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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