So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
