Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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