she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
