And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
