she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize