Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize