btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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