Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
