Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I did not marry a roomba.
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