Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
