I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
