think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize