One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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