This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I need a burrito and a hug.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize