Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
