Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
