hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
