he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Randomize
