can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My penis needs a shock collar
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
