If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
