the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
