Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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