how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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