I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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