The maid of honor just puked.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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