After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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