dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
