the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
