She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Floor bacon is actually really good
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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