I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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