I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
