I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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