i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
