I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
