Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
