I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
