no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's blow job season.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
