In America we eat man semen.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
