We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I didn't notice because vodka
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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