we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
