whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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