if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
