Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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