Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
