just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
