I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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