I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
