i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
