I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
