ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
