i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
